Just when I start to feel okay again life seems to hit me and knock me to the ground. I felt like I was gaining ground for a while. Even though things seemed hard, and I knew they would be for a time to come, everything felt like it would be bearable so long as I kept some sort of goal in mind. I really did gain some ground with those thoughts for a while. I guess nothing can last though.

Times like these make me remember why exactly I hate being alone. I need to be with and around people. Its the only way I can feel like people actually want me around. I know its absurd to think so, but often times I feel as though if I didn't try to keep in touch with others, no one would put the effort in to keeping touch with me. Am I really the only one trying? It gets very exhausting.

I want to feel like people actually want me around. I know that people like hanging out with me sometimes, but its not fair when I like everyone else more than anyone seems to like me. What am I doing wrong? I must be doing something wrong since the only common factor here seems to be me. How do you make people want to care about you? I really just don't know.

I just have to much time to think. I think too often about things that I shouldn't think about. I get strange ideas, and I start to become overly emotional. I need to get out of here. I'm a needy person, and its very hard to change that. I had a friend that was similar in that way. He was a needy person as well. He always had to be with and around people. It was because of that fact that we had begun to hang out a lot, but that's impossible now. It makes me sad. I'm the needy one now, but no one seems to actually need me. I'm pretty pathetic I guess.